Analects 13:23

Confucius said

The chun tzu is in harmony, but does not merely conform.

The hsiao jen merely conforms, but is not in harmony.

The superior man is affable, but not adulatory; the mean man is adulatory, but not affable. L

The nobler sort of man is accommodating but not obsequious; the inferior sort is obsequious but not accommodating. G

A wise man is sociable, but not familiar. A fool is familiar but not sociable. K

The nobler-minded man will be agreeable even when he disagrees; the small minded man will agree and be disagreeable. J


The chun tzu is receptive towards humanity, is easy to come to know, considers people’s views, and is considerate towards others.

However, he possesses a strong and unique individuality, maintains his personal purity, does not merely follow the crowd, is not clannish, does not sacrifice his individuality and right principles merely to agree with and be like others, is not partial towards others, and is difficult to be familiar with.

Harmony is not [as some suppose] in mere conformance and agreeability. Rather, it is in being a unique individual who lives as someone who has not or will even again be in the world.